stubborn

dearest P,

i have to admit, this might be one of the longest writing projects i have to date and the truth is i don't see a definite end up to this point. it is just what it is: me trying to make sense of stuff, and you wasting your time if you ever accidentally come across this. in any case, thank you.

here is another confession: i don't really have much believe in what i create. maybe because i of all the rejections, or maybe because i never received any external support, or maybe because i totally suck at this and i am just the same hard-headed person that is too dumb to listen.

maybe that is may fatal flaw. i hear, but for a lot of things, i don't really listen. but how can i listen to people telling me i can't do things when i know for a fact that i could? should i value other people's opinions just because they failed at the same task i am trying to be successful at?

i honestly don't know how long i can keep this up. but i will try to talk to you through this as much as i can. i'll do this even if i know it might mean nothing and you would probably not come across this anyway. i'll do this hoping that maybe, however improbable, the universe might bring you here like how i can be successful at something i'd most people would think i'd probably fail at.

i really hope you are smiling right now,
N

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